Как расположить к себе человека: мнение психологов

How to win over a person about whom you know practically nothing? Agree, there are more than enough such situations in the life of every person, they arise literally at every step! For many people, this skill is simply necessary, without it it is impossible to achieve success in professional activities. However, even if your profession does not involve constant interaction with people, a banal job interview will be more successful if you can win the trust and sympathy of a potential employer. Together with estet-portal.com, we will master several effective, repeatedly proven techniques that will help you win the sympathy and trust of the interlocutor from the first seconds of communication.

How to win over an interlocutor: smile more often
Master the skill of "correctly" listen to the interlocutor
Show attention to the interests of your interlocutor
Be sure to call your interlocutor by name
Learn to copy the behavior of the interlocutor
Do not be stingy with praise and compliments to others

How to win over an interlocutor: smile more often

Psychologists are convinced that it is a sincere, disarming smile that allows you to establish contact with a stranger. In order to make a favorable impression on the interlocutor, you do not need to smile constantly or unnaturally. Even if you do this only a few times during the conversation, it will create a more relaxed atmosphere, make the conversation lighter, help your interlocutor relax.

Why is this happening? Scientists say that for our biological species, as well as for other, the most developed representatives of the order of primates, lips parted in a smile are evidence of sympathy and peaceful intentions.

Perhaps you are naturally unnecessarily gloomy or excessively shy, and therefore are not accustomed to smiling at unfamiliar people without any reason? It's time to fix the situation! Practice this useful skill in front of a mirror when no one is looking at you.

To make your facial expression and gesture lessons more productive and interesting, try smiling in different ways:

• fun;
• reserved;
• sad;
• haughty;
• ingratiatingly;
• demonstrating his superiority.

Psychologists recommend to hone this art at every opportunity, communicating with people on the street in transport or at work.

Master the skill of "correctly" listen to the interlocutor

The ability to "correctly" listening to an interlocutor is one of the most necessary skills that will significantly increase your sociability, even if nature has not generously endowed you with charisma and charm. But a good listener always knows how to win over a person. Anyone is not too pleased if you do not pay attention to what he says: you interrupt, look away or get distracted by any extraneous activities. And this is quite obvious: we all extremely appreciate attention to our own person and react negatively if we are deprived of such attention.

But why, then, are there so few truly good listeners among us? It turns out that the reason lies in the speed of the human brain, which very quickly assimilates the information coming from the interlocutor, and then requires to “download” the information. new data. When this doesn't happen, we get bored and distracted!

How to please anyone and become a good listener?

There are a few tried and tested methods for this:

1. During the conversation, try not to look away from the face of the interlocutor, look into the eyes or at the bridge of the nose.

2. If appropriate – for example, in a conversation with a boss or in a negotiation process – take notes so you can focus on the conversation.

3. Be sure to provide "feedback" otherwise the speaker may feel that you are not listening carefully enough or even preoccupied with your own thoughts. It's not that hard – nod occasionally, use appropriate remarks and interjections.

4. Be sure to encourage to continue the story.

Show attention to the interests of your interlocutor

If you need not only to win over a person, but also to push him to more free communication, you need to find common ground for your interests. Perhaps that is why for many centuries the topic of weather has remained in demand in almost any country, among any strata of society? Even better, if you "guess" what exactly excites or occupies the person with whom you need to establish a trusting relationship.

And of course, in this case it is very important to use words that have a certain emotional connotation. When encouraging communication, use the wording: "Please tell" hellip; This will allow the interlocutor to give a detailed answer, relieve stiffness and allow you to successfully continue the dialogue in the right direction.

Be sure to call your interlocutor by name

How to win over a person, make you listen carefully, draw attention to what you say? One of the simplest – obligatory use of the name of your counterpart. You need to do this at least three times during the conversation. The reason for the effectiveness of this technique is quite obvious: we are so preoccupied with ourselves that the mention of a name acts on us almost magically. The sound of one's own name affects a person on a subconscious level, awakens the most pleasant associations and memories.

Hearing our name, we begin to feel a certain disposition and trust in the one who pronounces it, from that moment on he becomes closer to us, "ours". Therefore, we not only listen more attentively, but also experience positive emotions, we begin to trust the interlocutor even more.

Learn to copy the behavior of the interlocutor

Not everyone knows about this technique, but this does not make it less effective. Do you want to make a good impression on a stranger? Try to copy his demeanor and gestures. Why does this trick work? It's all about the features of the visual assessment of a stranger. You perceive the interlocutor who mirrors your behavior quite positively, because he looks like someone very familiar and dear – Your reflection in the mirror.

In this case, it is important not to accurately reproduce the gesture or manner of the interlocutor, but to respond with similar actions or movements. Does your interlocutor walk during a conversation? Then you better get up! Is he sitting with his arms crossed over his chest? In this case, it is enough for you to interlace your fingers.

But how to learn it? Here, too, a kind of training is needed. "Monkey" discreetly at every opportunity, observe the behavior of various people, hone your skill, bringing it to automatism.

My default image

Do not be stingy with praise and compliments to others

Even quite self-confident, adult independent people experience positive emotions when they hear praise addressed to them. A skillfully and timely compliment helps to raise the self-esteem of your counterpart, who can also experience anxiety before starting a conversation. How to win over a person (subordinates or partners) during important negotiations? Say a few nice words, because any person deserves approval! This skill is especially valuable for any leader who wants to gain authority among his subordinates. Does it seem to you that this is not your style of communication at all? There is only one way out: train on those with whom you encounter every day. Make unexpected compliments to neighbors on the porch, janitors or sellers in the nearest store – You will get an indescribable pleasure, watching the reaction of people.

How to win over a person? This difficult task is solved every day by many people – otherwise they will never succeed in their profession. Perhaps the described techniques seem artificial to you? In fact, in order to master them and successfully use them in everyday life, you only need maximum observation and sincere attention, interest in the people around you.

Be friendly and remember: even in a person to whom you do not feel much sympathy, many hidden virtues can be revealed. Who knows, perhaps a gloomy neighbor from the sixth floor writes poetry in his free time, and a grumpy old woman from the next entrance will willingly share with you the secret of growing orchids?

For more interesting information on the psychology of interpersonal relationships, look at estet-portal.com.

Read also:

How to build a relationship: 5 habits to get rid of

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