To express our feelings and experiences we we have a whole arsenal: facial expressions, words, gestures. It would be fun — laugh, sad — cry. However, according to statistics, only 10% of people can openly and sincerely show their emotions. The rest close them into themselves, which leads to distortions in relations with others, as well as internal disharmony, depression and anger. How to express emotions and why it's important for everyone, read in this article.
- Why it is important to learn how to express your emotions correctly
- How to Express Emotions: A Step-by-Step Instruction from Psychologists
- How to release your emotions: breaking taboos
Why is it important to learn how to express your emotions correctly
Social norms and stereotypes control us so much that only children can sincerely express their feelings. Adults, on the other hand, hide their emotions behind a forced smile or a deadpan poker face. The ability to keep a face is, of course, an important skill. But over time, the mask becomes an essence, and it’s more and more difficult to sincerely laugh, to grieve from the soul, or, conversely, to be overjoyed.
Restraint is not always for the benefit of relationships with others. For example, a loved one sincerely wanted to please with his gift, and in the answer received crumpled words of gratitude and duty phrases. And not at all because the gift is out of to the place, no, it exactly what dream about. But it was not possible to express my joy somehow. The next time, the donor will think about whether his efforts are needed or whether it is possible to get off with the same duty gift.
Or the reverse example: a colleague offended or angered you in some way. But by suppressing negative emotions in yourself, you don't give him the opportunity to understand what's the matter and understand the situation to to the end. As a result, one walks gloomy and inflated, the second is sincerely perplexed: what actually happened? So you can easily spoil friendships and earn the fame of a gloomy type with oddities.
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How to express emotions: step by step instructions from psychologists
The ability to clearly and simply communicate your feelings to the surrounding people allows you to avoid many problems, and most importantly, it allows you to openly demonstrate your position. To be heard, but at the same time not to break firewood in the heat of passion, you should listen to the recommendations of psychologists. So, 4 practical tips on how to express emotions correctly.
Become aware of your emotion and find the cause
Teach yourself to always evaluate your feelings in a slightly detached way. This will help you understand yourself better. I'm sad, I'm happy, I'm angry... Why do I feel like this? Because they quarreled, the holidays are coming soon, everyone is angry. Ask yourself these questions until you find the true reason for your feelings. As a result, it may turn out that, for example, you are angry not at your partner, but at yourself, because you were harsh and wrong. Or you are happy not because you got a new phone, but because your loved one guessed your desires so accurately.
Express your feelings in simple terms
After such a psychoanalysis, tell us about the reasons for your emotional state (you can even tell yourself, this is also a useful practice). How to express emotions in understandable language? Start with I I: I got angry because I was hurt by this phrase. Or: I'm happy because I didn't expect such a turn of events at all. Talk about yourself, and the words will find themselves, and it will be easier for the interlocutor to understand you.
Watch the reactions of others
Give the opportunity to respond to the expression of your emotions, so you will better understand if it was possible to accurately convey what you feel. Don interrupt, even if you are misunderstood. Listen to the end and try to express your feelings in a different way.
Keep your emotions under control
Both in joy and in sadness, you must always be above your feelings and not let them control your behavior. Hysterical fun, as well as hysterical suffering, are dangerous because they are very difficult to stop on their own. Try saying to yourself "Now I"ll take a break from"experiences", perhaps this way you will be able to regain control over the situation.
And most importantly — before expressing emotions, you must allow yourself to do so. Recognize your right to have feelings and not hold them. This is difficult because from childhood we are taught to control our behavior. But everything can be fixed if you find the cause and eliminate
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How to release your emotions: breaking taboos
First, you need to identify what feelings you find most difficult to express. There are few basic emotions: sadness, fear, sadness, joy. And the children have no problem their expression. Until all these “what are you whining like a girl” begin, “what a stupid laugh, there are people around”, “are you afraid? Weak or something. So parents themselves create psychological blocks in children, which then prevent them from expressing their feelings.
Remember what emotion was forbidden in the & nbsp; family. What was considered shameful and indecent, for which they reproached. And now allow your inner child to experience these feelings: be afraid when it's scary and angry when you're hurt and unpleasant. And, yes, laugh and rejoice when you're really having fun. And don't shy away from because, unlike a child you can already express emotions without violating the rules of decency and social norms.
At first, it will be difficult to break psychological taboos, and that's normal. You need to constantly repeat to yourself that openness and sincerity — not a sign of weakness, but expression of feelings does make no one defenseless and vulnerable. On the contrary, it is a manifestation of self-respect and high self-esteem. "I have the right to experience and express different emotions" — and let this be the new motto in relationships with the world around you and yourself.
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