Parting – always a painful process, even if everything happens by mutual agreement. But this rarely happens. More often, the initiator of the breakup is one partner, and the second – just facing the fact.
It doesn't matter which of you started talking about parting, but you need to end the relationship in such a way that it is the least painful, without scandals and mutual reproaches. How to do it?
The editors of estet-portal.com will tell you how to end a relationship in order to remain just "ex", and not enemies for life. And separately, we will pay attention to the situation when a man does not want to let a woman out of a relationship, pursuing and threatening her.
How to End a Relationship: "Golden" breakup rules
Of course, there are no instructions for a proper breakup, because every relationship story – strictly individual. And the reason for the break in each pair of – its. Therefore, first of all, you need to look at the situation and your current communication.
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However, there are a number of rules. They will help to part in a civilized manner – without scandals, mutual reproaches, tantrums and the hard experience of a breakup. Here's a plan for how to gracefully end a relationship:
1. Leaving – leave. A proper breakup implies that the relationship can no longer be returned. Therefore, do not give yourself or your partner false hopes. If we have already talked about parting, it means that your couple is not just in crisis, but the partnership has simply outlived its usefulness.
2. Don't blame. It is quite possible that the partner's fault in this parting is – for example, a man cheated or began to treat you badly. But do not stoop to accusations, they only make the situation worse. Moreover, you also had happy moments with him. Therefore, it is better to remember the good, thank him for the life experience or the lesson that you have learned for yourself.
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3. Don't get caught up in romantic memories. When a breakup is inevitable, we often try to "catch on" to for something good to return to a happy time together. However, this is already in the past, and it’s bad for the two of you now.
4. Personal communication. If you need to tell your partner about the breakup, do it only in person, and not by text or phone. Choose a neutral place to talk, not your favorite coffee shop or place in the park.
5. Don't get emotional. Of course, such a difficult conversation can't go smoothly. Therefore, try not to switch to screaming, even if you really want to. In a fit of emotions, you can say too much, which you will later have to regret.
You can also think in advance what exactly you will say to your partner. Try to speak from the position of "I" and "me" – that is, talking about your feelings. This will help avoid blaming the partner, reduce the likelihood of conflict separation.
Read also: How to end a destructive relationship: 4 steps to emotional freedom
What to do if the breakup turned into threats and harassment
If the initiator of the breakup – woman, it is often difficult for a man to accept such a situation. It happens in the stereotype that a woman cannot leave a man, or he is not ready to lose a partner, even if he frankly does not give a damn about her.
In this case, the man sees in the girl not a partner, but property that does not have the right to choose. And he sincerely does not understand how it is possible to get away from him. "But I love her!" – such words can be heard from a man as an argument against parting.
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After you have informed such a man about your desire to part with him, he begins to attack you with requests to return. Endless calls and SMS, messages in social networks and instant messengers begin. The best option in this case – ignoring. And if the flow of calls and SMS literally interferes with your life, block the annoying caller. It is possible that he will start attacking you with new phone numbers, new accounts. Do not reply to – just block. This is the most effective tactic. By keeping the conversation going, you are giving the person false hope.
However, along with annoying calls, the ex may begin to threaten you. He may say that he will do something to himself if you do not return. Or – that will harm you or your loved ones. Such threats – whatever they are – under no circumstances should you give in. First step – threaten the offender that you will report his actions to the police or report his actions to superiors from his place of work. The same should be done if you have been harassed by an ex.
If the warning does not help, contact the police. To do this, try to collect evidence of harassment or threats – testimonies of neighbors, colleagues, screenshots of correspondence, dictaphone recordings of telephone conversations. Threats and harassment – it is an attack on your privacy and freedom. And the legislation provides for punishment for such actions.
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In any case, in any situation – you have to try to stay calm. Literally force yourself to calm down. Only by being calm, you can understand exactly what steps should be taken, what words to say, so that the situation turns out to be less painful and traumatic, so that it does not lead you into a dead corner.
And if you can't do it yourself, never hesitate to ask for help, because parting – always a painful process, similar to the loss due to departure to another world. Friends, psychologists, relatives can help. And sometimes unexpected people and situations come to the rescue. Try to be open to help. And everything will be fine.
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