Boys transitional age – an important period of growing up and becoming a person. Changes occur not only in the body, but also in the psyche. He is no longer a child, but not yet an adult. The situation gives rise to many contradictions, because the young man already feels like an adult, and his parents still treat him like a little one. The future of a young person depends on how smoothly this period of crisis passes. How to behave to parents so that the transitional age does not become a problem?
How to maintain the trust of your son and help him overcome the crisis of adolescence? Estet-portal.com will tell you about this today.
boys: advice for parents
Boys transitional age: advice for parents
Boys transitional age – a difficult time for the boy, when he is very sensitive to criticism and misunderstanding of others. This is manifested by deliberate aggressiveness, which is an attempt to defend oneself. Therefore, parents need to be patient and arm themselves with the following tips:1. Transitional age – this is puberty. And the boy may not fully understand what processes are happening with his body, and whether this is normal at all. Therefore, try to talk about this topic with your son. And if you feel uncomfortable just thinking about such a conversation, we recommend that you donate a special book where everything you need will be told in an accessible language.
2. During this period, adolescents are sensitive to their appearance, show increased attention to it. This also applies to boys. Therefore, if you have skin problems, visit a dermatologist. You can enroll your son in the gym (this can be done from the age of 15) so that he not only works on his figure, but also becomes stronger and more confident.
3. Often, children's problems seem like a trifle to adults. But for teenagers, everything looks more than serious. Do not ignore the experiences of your son, support him when he needs it. 4. Judge the actions of the child, not his personality as a whole. That is, the deuce received at school should not become a reason for statements in the spirit of "you are a loser." 5. Support your son's self-esteem, which is often low in adolescence. The boy is overly critical of himself, constantly comparing himself with others. Therefore, note the positive qualities, praise.
6. Do not interfere with communication with peers and hobbies. This is the music that your son listens to, it seems "terrible", but for him – these are my favorite tracks.
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Besides, in adolescence, boys often seek to find a part-time job. So they want to become more independent. Therefore, do not interfere with such undertakings, if they are not at the expense of learning. Do not impose your choice of profession – let the teenager decide for himself where exactly he will earn extra money.
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Typical mistakes of parents of adolescent boys
Of course, mistakes in upbringing and relationships cannot be completely avoided. However, it is possible to prevent the most serious of them, which can harm the child. There are two behaviors that definitely won't work – they are more likely to lead to misunderstanding between the parents and the maturing boy. In the following, we will describe two extremes that parents of teenagers often fall into. The first wrong strategy – it is complete loyalty to what is happening, detachment, complete acceptance. Of course, accepting all the characteristics of your child is good. But everything needs a measure, so the unconditional acceptance of the bad behavior of a teenager – this is mistake. Often parents take such a position of an observer, expecting that the transitional age will pass by itself – and everything will return to normal. This deprives the child of life guidelines, but he needs advice from the outside, he needs to point out certain limits of behavior, protect him from serious mistakes. In addition, a teenager will regard complete non-interference in his life as indifference to himself.
The second erroneous strategy – this is the exact opposite of the first: overly strict upbringing and control. Such parents believe that if everything is taken under control and impose prohibitions on the child, then this way you can save him from trouble. At the same time, everything – objectionable clothes, hobbies, «wrong» friends. Parents control every step, require a report. The result of such an upbringing strategy – or the desperate rebellion of the child, or his complete submission. The latter means the suppression of personality – and this often leads to suicidal thoughts. Rebels, on the other hand, often choose drugs or alcohol to "prove" their independence from their parents.
Therefore, age of transition in boys – this is the period when your son needs extra support and understanding. This is a difficult period for every person – regardless of the warehouse of his character, habits, hobbies. This is the time of growing up, "fitting" assume the role of an adult. The main contradiction for the boy – a sense of their own adulthood and the actual status of the child. This is where a lot of problems come from. The task of parents – realizing this, help the son cope with the difficulties that have arisen, encourage good undertakings, maintain trust and good relations.
Raising Teenagers: 10 Rules for Wise Parents
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