Boosting Self-Esteem: 5 Ways to Feel More Confident

Self-Esteem — it is, in fact, a reflection of the degree of satisfaction of a person with his life. If he himself highly appreciates his achievements, is proud of them and counts on further growth, we can talk about high self-esteem. If a person is convinced that he has achieved little and does not deserve more, then his self-esteem and satisfaction with life are low. The gurus of popular psychology assure that a constant increase in self-esteem — key success factor. But everything is not so clear.

• Inflated and low self-esteem — two extremes
• Factors in shaping the assessment of one's personality and life
• Debunking 5 Persistent Myths About Self-Esteem
• Increasing Self-Esteem: 5 Tips for Self-Confidence
• The main thing about self-esteem and the need to increase it

Inflated and low self-esteem — two extremes

Self-esteem enhancement is very popular now. Special trainings are held, you can find good literature and choose suitable psychotechnics. But so is it necessary to do this? On the one hand, low self-esteem really limits a person's goals. C another, — if if it is overpriced, disappointments are inevitable. For example, an  I style affirmation is the most charming and  attractive» improves mood, but far from always helps to see the flaws in appearance that are worth working on.

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It is most reasonable to talk about the adequacy of self-esteem. If a person perceives himself as accomplished, his goals — as correct, and the ways to achieve — as acceptable, he is all right. And  if there is a feeling of "wrong" of life, lack of self-confidence, resentment at others for one's own  underestimation”, correction of self-esteem will not prevent 

Read also: The harm of self-criticism: 9 ways to get rid of dissatisfaction with yourself

Factors in shaping the assessment of one's personality and life

Initial attitudes come from childhood: from parents, teachers, peers. Thanks to them, a person understands what place he occupies in this system, gets the first idea of his abilities and opportunities. As as you grow older, other factors influencing self-esteem —— standards formed by the environment.

Self-esteem develops in depending on what values ​​and priorities have been formed throughout life. If life corresponds to them, a person perceives himself positively, if not — negative. For example, if people who value a healthy lifestyle eat right and exercise, their self-esteem is high. If they drop — decreases. Priorities can change, and  people try to adjust their lives according to them, evaluating themselves depending on the success of their attempts.

Read also: How to believe in yourself: 5 simple recommendations from psychologists

Debunking 5 Persistent Myths About Self-Esteem

To deal with  adequacy of self-esteem, it is worth debunking a few popular myths:

1. Self-esteem is passed on from parents to children.This is not so. Although the primary formation of attitudes occurs in childhood, children's self-esteem does not always correspond to the parent's. Everything is much more complicated and depends on various factors.

2. Self-Esteem — an objective concept. A person's picture of the world is individual. It consists of & nbsp; millions of micro-events, emotions. Self-esteem, formed on the basis of deeply personal experience, by definition cannot be objective. It is always subjective.

3. People with high self-esteem — arrogant egoists. Firstly, the concepts of high and inflated self-esteem — various. Secondly, self-esteem is not necessarily related to the attitude towards other people, it concerns the person himself. Thirdly, psychologists say that the majority of self-esteem is still underestimated, which provokes negativity in relation to the surrounding people.

4. Continuous self-esteem enhancement — a prerequisite for success. High self-esteem — good quality and really helps to succeed. Exactly until until it becomes inadequately high. Then you have to deal with disillusionment, depression, neurosis and even illnesses.

5. Self-esteem is static, if it not be changed consciously.Satisfaction with life largely depends on real success. Moreover, it also changes in different areas. For example, a woman may rate herself highly as a specialist, but low as a woman due to failures on a personal front.

Correction of self-esteem is needed if a person feels that his life is flowing in the wrong direction, and wants to change the situation.

Increasing Self-Esteem: 5 Tips for Self-Confidence

If you are unsure of yourself and understand that your self-esteem is inadequately low, follow these tips:

1. Find what suits you personally. To do this, you will have to determine your priorities and match your own them. Set goals, plan to achieve them and work in the right direction. The first successes will become the foundation for strengthening self-esteem.

2. Talk about problems with people.Fears —affect self-esteem — in front of loneliness, someone else's condemnation, etc. If you realize that your self-confidence depends on the other person, clarify — Discuss the issues and compromise. This will relieve tension and help you feel more confident.

3. Stop looking for the norm. Accept that the concept of "norm" very vague and changeable. Use your personal needs as a guide, and what's important to your loved ones.

4. Stop self-judgment.Stop biting your shortcomings. Everyone has them. Treat yourself as you tre your child — without condemnation, harsh criticism over trifles. Learn to forgive yourself.

5. Allow yourself to feel. Anger, resentment, disappointment — it is what you have every right to. You don't need to judge yourself for emotions, but you should learn to control them.

By solving the tasks that you set for yourself, you will be able to adequately evaluate yourself, gain confidence in your own abilities and achieve great results.

Read also: How to get rid of feelings of guilt and why it is important: 6 helpful tips  The main thing about self-esteem and the need to increase it

Inflated and low self-esteem — these are two extremes. A more rational approach — talk about & nbsp; adequacy. To raise self-esteem, gain self-confidence, follow these rules:

• Don't look for the norm

  . It does not exist in objective reality. Focus on needs — own, family, immediate environment.

• Get rid of fears.

  It's very simple: don do not spin bad thoughts, but discuss and solve problems.

• Give yourself permission to feelings.

  Stop judging yourself for emotions, shortcomings, and non-compliance with some standards.  you have the right to feelings, weaknesses, mistakes.

Telegram Don't be too hard on yourself. It can only hurt. Love yourself and your life, change for the better.

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