Психолог: как сохранить брак во время карантина

The news that areas hardest hit by the Covid-19 pandemic in China have seen a surge in divorce applications has caused worldwide alarm. Psychologists warn that even those who live in the most stable and happy marriages face relationship problems. There is a particular risk that one of the consequences of the coronavirus pandemic is a significant increase in desires to file for divorce.

How then can you try to save your marriage and relationships? To do this, you need to develop several of your personal strategies for behavior and interaction with each other. Some are simple, others are more complex, let's look at them in detail.

Why communication, courtesy and kindness is essential to keep a marriage alive in quarantine

Communication is critical to saving a marriage

Communication is the foundation of any healthy relationship, but it is becoming critical in these times. The reason is different approaches to the situation: there are those who live frivolously; those who experience anxiety with a slight headache. Council of psychologists - speak as clearly and sincerely as possible, without aggression and nervousness. When you open up, don't be afraid to talk about your emotions. The wall of silence may collapse, the result - the situation will worsen.

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Be polite and kind

This is a good union rule that should always be present in relationships. In times of stress, anxiety and various difficulties, this becomes a must. So if your wife/husband does something for you, the family, don't forget to thank her/him. Encourage those who want to exercise at home to enjoy the new dish. Politeness, kindness can really make a difference.

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An earlier relationship crisis

It is useless to deny that a sudden situation forcing couples to be in daily contact can be an almost overwhelming challenge for those already in a crisis situation. Council of psychologists - bury the battle ax and try to solve the problem as calmly as possible. Immediately stop expressing claims, accusations about what happened earlier. Embrace the moment as a space of truth, a dialogue in which two people communicate with great sincerity in a way that (probably) hasn't done before. Need to focus on sustainability.

How to keep intimacy during quarantine

A question of sex

In quarantine, plus anxiety, stress reduces sexual desire in 85% of couples. If what psychologists calls "sexual divergence" occurs within a couple, a problem can arise. The only way to overcome this obstacle and save the marriage is to create a relaxed environment where no one feels compelled to do something they don't want to. Continuing to annoy your partner with intercourse, or worse, forcing them to have sex, is the worst situation. No one will be satisfied: the partner with the most desire will feel rejected, the other will feel misunderstood.

Use your imagination if you want to save your marriage

Use your imagination, fantasize about intimacy, allow yourself to go beyond. Short of pathological levels, the creation of an imaginary character in a marriage is important for a number of reasons. Firstly, it allows the couple to play together, to joke. Secondly, the ability to divert attention from the partner.

 

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Focus on small goals

Feel annoyed – don't react abruptly, stop, take a very deep breath, think of valuable, pleasant little things. Sometimes a little is enough. In a situation where a husband / wife is in a bad mood - cook your favorite dish, drink a glass of wine together - this can really change the situation. You can talk together, watch a movie or read a book, - the result will pleasantly surprise you .

How to be together 24/7 and at the same time find your "free space"

Determine who does what

As a rule, there is a daily schedule in everyday life: work, shopping, childcare, social activities, hanging out with friends. Many of us knew what we had to do within a few days. Household chores also followed these rhythms. Now everything has changed. 

Psychologists advise to assign different roles to each spouse every day. Together it is necessary to decide who cooks, cleans, answers the phone, takes care of children or other relatives. When working at home, it is imperative to take breaks, follow the order of business.

Find a small space in the house for yourself

Most couples spend days without seeing each other, at least one family member goes to work every day. With many businesses closing and many companies deciding to work remotely from home, the couple are inseparable and share a square footage 24/7. 

 

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We shouldn't force our partner to do things together all the time. The trick might be taking turns cooking on your own, or staying in different rooms for several hours a day. Dedicate yourself to taking care of your body, with longer showers or baths. Time to go shopping? It's better to do them one by one. Sometimes a few minutes alone is enough, listening to your favorite music, meditating. There are many sites on the Internet that offer tutorials on how to "break away"; from the reality in which we live.

During quarantine, we are limited to a small space, sometimes very small, often working at home remotely, not being able to be alone and "break away" from each other. And all this 24 hours a day, seven days a week. By following these little tips in this article, you can take your relationship to the next level by revealing yourself and your partner in a whole new way. Put aside all quarrels and disagreements, just be happy. 

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