Parent-Child Relationship – The topic is complex and ambiguous. Everything, as in the famous phrase: “All families are equally happy, but unhappy – each in its own way. Family problems in each case have their own characteristics. Therefore, there are no universal recipes for their solution.
However, the following statement is repeated at least once in a lifetime by every second parent: "I raised you, and you?", implying that the child bears a certain debt to him. But is there a debt? And do children really owe their parents? And if they do, what exactly? The answers are offered by estet-portal.com.
Parent-Child Relationships: Life is a Gift
We can say that we live all our lives in a state of certain debt – before work, the state, friends and, of course, parents. They are the ones – our closest people who gave life, put us on our feet. And this contribution to our development cannot be underestimated. But, on the other hand, and overestimate – too. After all, not every person is lucky to be born in a harmonious loving family, where they will always support in a difficult moment.
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Most often the phrase "We gave you life, raised you, and you?" they say just in those families where a person is uncomfortable, and sometimes – even scary. Not always parents – this is a reliable rear. More often it is the other way around – these are quarrels, insults and humiliations, outright blackmail and pressure. Therefore, it is not surprising that an adult child seeks to escape from there as soon as possible. And parents, in turn, are perplexed – they say, we dressed him, fed him, raised him, and he grew up so ungrateful.
Given the characteristics of our culture, an adult who grew up in the conditions described above often falls into a kind of trap. On the one hand – people he wants to see as little as possible. On the other – guilt before them for being such a bad son/daughter: doesn't come, doesn't help, doesn't fit.
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Do children owe their parents: is it really so
The most valuable gift from parents – that's life. On the one hand, it is. On the other – the decision on the birth is made only by the parents, the future child, as it were, "did not order" this gift.
Yes, and if it's a gift, why should we be in debt all our lives? After all, gifts – this is what they want to present for free, without expecting something material in return. Few people think about it. As a result – the gift becomes a subject for manipulation.
Often parents complain that they sacrificed a lot for the sake of the child, they saw in him the meaning of life. However, this is not a problem of the child, but of mom and dad themselves. After all, very often the decision to "have a baby" accept because:
1. There is no meaning to life, and a person sees them only in children. As a result – all attention goes to the son or daughter, often this flows into overprotection. And if a child protests against this, and, growing up, moves out of his parents, then this is perceived as a tragedy. After all, the meaning of life – lost.
2. There is a cooling of feelings between partners. Often the child becomes a "link"; between man and woman. They have nothing in common, except for a common offspring. Their own relationship is getting worse, and they "sacrifice themselves" to take care of the child.
3. I want to realize my ambitions, grow up a "champion" and "successful person". Very often, parents want to embody their unrealized dreams and desires in their children. So, children with the makings of an artist graduate from a university with a degree in economics. And others – participate in endless olympiads and competitions, afraid to bring home "silver"; instead of "gold".
In all these cases, parents expect gratitude from their children. But it turns out the opposite, because the child becomes a puppet, from which certain actions are expected. As a result – distrust, desire to move away from parents. Sometimes – and a feeling of fear before them, and then before the whole world. What kind of debt can we talk about?
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What do we really owe each other
Do children owe their parents? Of course, they are not obliged to help financially and spend time with them for days to the detriment of their business. But you need to remember – no matter how difficult the relationship may be, parents, due to their age, need your help. In the realities of our country – often in the material. And most of all they are worried about the fear of loneliness. Therefore, call your parents, take an interest in their life and help to the best of your ability.
But parents need to remember: children – not your property. These are separate personalities – with their interests, priorities, tastes, ideals and values. The task of parents – teach children to live without their help. And if your child successfully copes with this, you can only be proud of the fruits of your labors!
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