Narcissism: How to identify and counter

Нарциссизм — как определить и противостоять

Narcissism — it is self-love, inadequate self-esteem, the desire to achieve a certain position, to achieve your goals. To some extent, the traits of a narcissist can be found in every person. But when self-love grows into passion, self-esteem is exorbitantly inflated and requires constant nourishment in the form of self-admiration and admiration, and goals are achieved without choosing means, then they talk about narcissistic personality disorder.

How to recognize a narcissist: a psychological portrait
Daffodils of men and women: what commons and in what is the difference
Narcissism: how to counter destructive relationships
Relationship with a narcissist: don ruin your own life

How to recognize a narcissist: a psychological portrait

Why is it necessary to recognize a narcissist in time? This is necessary in order to either end the relationship or apply countermeasures in time. Otherwise, you can leave these relationships with a crippled soul and psyche.

Narcissism as a personality disorder has 6 characteristic features:

An exorbitant sense of self-importance. The narcissist tries to show off in any way he can. These people love to be the center of attention. They play the role of the king, and surrounding — this is the retinue.
Belief in one's own uniqueness. Narcissists believe that only the best of — — "cream" society.
Need for admiration. They are self-admiring and demand compliments and admiration from the surroundings.
Egocentrism. Everyone owes him. The soul of a narcissist is like a sieve: no matter how you fill it with love, but it is still empty. You will receive nothing.
Lack of empathy. They don't know how to empathize, understanding another person is alien to them. Narcissists are emotionally cold, it is useless to expect sympathy from them.
Manipulative behavior. For them, people — it is a means to an end.

If in the process of communicating with a person you feel your inferiority, know — in front of you is a narcissist.

Daffodils of men and women: what combines them and what what is the difference

Many people think that narcissism is only for men. However, this is not the case. In women, too, these pathological features can be recognized. However, their behavior in some cases differs from the behavior of men.

Confidence in self. There is a common belief that narcissists — they are selfish people. But the famous psychologist Aaron Beck said that the narcissist suffers from a shame complex, that is, subconsciously feels inferior. They hide this feeling deeply under the mask of confidence. Narcissistic women constantly demonstrate their superiority. They are affirmed at the expense of humiliation of others.
Appearance. Narcissists are well-groomed, attractive, and have a subtle charm. But if men use their appearance to achieve a goal, then women — to highlight superiority. Narcissistic women can get endless plastic surgeries, they are obsessed with their looks.
Seduction. As a rule, narcissists are masters of seduction. Men use their charisma for this purpose, and women — body, wearing revealing outfits.
Loyalty and fidelity. As a rule, male narcissists cheat on their partners. Their egocentrism needs constant nourishment from side. Women are capable of being faithful, but the longer they live with a partner, the more their demands grow. They are insatiable and "suck" your husband or lover to the bottom. The behavior of such women — this is the black widow strategy. First she seduces, then debilitates.
Attitude towards money. All narcissists love money. They see them as a means to an end. Money gives them a sense of superiority, power, success, position in society. But if men want to get it by any means the women-narcissists love to spend it.

Social networks help them a lot in self-admiration. Narcissists try to show everyone their superiority and status. They post photos from expensive restaurants, travel, brag about every new acquisition. With all their appearance they show their superiority over the majority.

Narcissism: how to counter destructive relationships

Narcissist's Essential Tool — it is flattery. With her help, he goes into relationships.

They are pleasant and gallant in communication. If it's a man, he begins to admire the woman, giving her endless compliments.

Narcissist Relationship Development Chart:

idealization;
depreciation;
disposal.

At the beginning of your acquaintance, he admires you, then devalues you, then gets rid of you as an unnecessary thing. It's a toxic relationship where only the narcissist wins.

If you recognize a narcissist in your friend and decide against all odds to build a relationship with them, be ready to sacrifice yourself. But in order to finally lose yourself and build constructive connections with the narcissist, countermeasures must be taken in time:

Avoid the narcissist's wrath. Don don't make derogatory remarks. Admire appearance, professional achievements. Don't argue with the narcissist. The initiative in intimacy should belong to him. If you take the first step, the egocentric will take it as an attempt at manipulation.
Try to make the narcissist dependent on you. Listen carefully, but don don believe a single word. Don argue and agree in everything. Make him unique offers. The source of them must be inexhaustible, then the narcissist will need you.
Avoid emotional and financial dependency.Be prepared that one day the narcissist will show his true face: ruthless, calculating, deceitful, immoral. Learn to disengage and not take it to to heart. Treat a narcissist like a child.
Deliver your strengths to change specific situations.
Don't make complaints and accusations. "Cure" narcissism is almost impossible. If you want to "change" partner, then help to understand the peculiarities of his psyche and behavior. You must know that it is impossible to achieve success in correction, without the desire of the narcissist himself.
If a confrontation is unavoidable, act like a narcissist.
Respond to him in kind and don't show that you're afraid of him.