Obscene language: how to talk to children about the mat

Foul language these days – Not unusual. Even from blue screens it can be heard, and even more so on the street. Not all parents consider it necessary to eradicate the foul language of their own offspring. There are even those who specifically teach their offspring to swear, mistakenly believing that this makes them stronger. If you are one of the parents who would not like to hear obscene language from their own children, then you probably faced the problem of how to explain to a small or grown up child – why is it possible to say this bad word to that uncle, but he cannot categorically. The editors of estet-portal.com asked teachers and psychologists how to achieve the desired effect and deprive the mat in the minds of children and adolescents of a false aura of attractiveness. At the same time, let's think about why at all <

1. Why do children tend to use foul language
2. Why foul language – this is bad for children
3. Obscene language from the mouth of a child: what to do
Why foul language – this is bad for the younger generation

Surely, as an adult, you have heard such opinions about mate:

• uplifting;

• helps to join the team or company;

• relieves stress and tension;
• defuses the situation;
• replaces strings of words, allowing you to briefly express the main thing, urgent or painful.

Well, for adults this is often true. A strong word in a certain situation is more than appropriate and sometimes really helps.

But these rules do not work with children. And here's why:

Be that as it may, society as a whole has a negative attitude towards obscene language. No wonder it's called "foul language". Bad words in the mouth of a child are sure to draw unwanted attention to him. Surely there will be people who want to make a remark to a boy or a girl. And you have no guarantees that it will be done in the correct form. Someone may even want to hit, offended by bad words, because children do not always pronounce these words among adequate adults. And you may not be there to protect the body and mind of your child.

If a young girl swears, in most cases, people immediately label her as ill-mannered, stupid, or even walking around. And the latter can lead to even more unwanted trouble if you are not around.
Of course, teachers and educators in educational institutions are unlikely to treat a toddler or teenager who periodically foul language well. And why spoil relations with those on whom much depends in the life of your offspring.
Here's another aspect of – swearing is often a parasitic factor in the speech of adults. They simply do not have enough vocabulary, lexical fullness to speak in normal unbridled human speech – culturally, as they say. Wouldn't you be offended if your child joins the ranks of people who simply do not know how to talk without swearing, do not know how to express their thoughts and feelings competently and beautifully? – It is unlikely, because such people are treated disrespectfully in most human communities.
Well, and finally, let's talk about the spiritual component of obscene words. The Church believes that they carry filth, attract to sin. Our pagan ancestors, historians say, used swear words to drive away evil spirits. Even if you do not believe in such things, you will agree that when you hear swearing, and especially from the lips of children, it always jars and spoils the mood. In almost all spiritual practices, it is believed that foul language harms both the object it is directed at and the swearer himself. There are even studies by scientists on this topic, in which it is proved that the health of the one
who often swears deteriorates.
5. There are plenty of reasons to eradicate the use of swear words in a child's speech. After all, habitual and frequent foul language can lead to negative consequences for health, mood, and position in society.

Why do children tend to use foul language

To know how to deal with swearing, you need to understand the reasons for the appearance of these words on the lips of our children.

In each age period, the motivation for using swear words is different:

Children up to 4-5 years old may accidentally babble combinations of letters that form a swear word. Or they just copy someone's speech – unconsciously, imitatively, not understanding the meaning.

At the age of five, they already begin to understand that such words belong to the area of ​​"no". But until the age of 7, there is a period of the first children's rebellion against the rules. Therefore, here they are already trying to swear consciously, checking the boundaries of what is permitted, trying to offend or show off. It often looks very ridiculous.
Young schoolchildren under 12 are unlikely to swear in front of adults, where it is not allowed. But in their environment, many will want to assert themselves at the expense of the mat, join the community, show their maturity and strength. It strongly discourages you from
reading children's messages on social networks
3. . Adolescence begins at 12-13 years of age. At this time, the urges to use swear words are already very close to adult reasons – for relaxation, as parasitic words, in stories and anecdotes. Swearing is no longer capable of fulfilling the role of an adapter in society. At the same time, some of the children consciously completely exclude these words from speech, while others, on the contrary, got used to it and constantly bring it into everyday life. And target use comes from the desire to humiliate as verbal aggression, or to empower words as a defense, reaction to pain, or for greater
intelligibility.

So, depending on the initial causes and age, we take the following actions:

When the crumbs unconsciously use swear words – we do not react, even if everyone around us faints. But immediately you need to find out the source of the introduction of the mat and try to eliminate it. If one of the adults close to the child often uses swear words, you will have to conduct an “explanatory” session with him or her. work.

Unfortunately, explanatory work is not always possible – in the yard it is impossible to convince everyone that it is impossible to swear. And we walk there. The child will surely sooner or later come across a swear word and understand that these are some special words. In the same kindergarten – necessarily. What to do? – Keep calm! The more modest in emotions the parents react to the mat, the less likely it is that the child will keep it in his vocabulary. For him, this is a game and a means of experimenting with his parents and grandparents.
With a child of 5-8 years old, you can already talk "in an adult way." Explain to him that these words cause pain, resentment, that they are sinful, spoil his health, karma, etc. Also pay attention to
teenager sex education
3. , because these are close areas – many swear words can be presented from a more sympathetic side, thus depriving them of the "bad" fullness. And that, having said obscene language to someone, he can get hit on the forehead in response. Already he can be seriously offended or punished.
If you manage to become an authority or a friend for your matured child, then you will not have problems with swearing. If you fail, then you will have to solve the problem of swearing, starting with yourself and your relationship with your offspring at the root.
5. At any age, try to educate your child, teach him to read, teach him to speak competently and communicate with people easily. It's the best way to keep swear words from infesting his speech.

And, of course, the parents themselves should set an example of "exclusivity". After all, children are very sensitive to deception. And the ban on a mat for a child, when it is possible for mom or dad, they perceive it as a deception. And sooner or later it comes out sideways for adults.

Important! Sometimes foul language is neurotic in nature, a symptom of psychological problems,

mental disorders

, illnesses of the body. If you suspect this, be sure to go to the – the consequences without their intervention can be very sad. Respect for oneself, for each family member, friendly and warm relations between adults and children – a guarantee that bad words, even if they are known, simply no one will want to use. In any case – keep calm.

Everyday human speech is not something random. Every word in the – this is his choice, conscious or unconscious, which clearly demonstrates the state of mind, the level of upbringing and attitude towards himself and others. Parents can give a lot to a child in this regard. Only from them in the end depends – whether obscene language will become habitual in the speech of their child. Eliminate obscene words from the inner circle of the child, from your own vocabulary, at the same time manage to maintain authority for the younger generation, learn to calmly respond to foul language – and for sure, your efforts will not be in vain.

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