Why a man is silent and how to teach him to share his experiences

Почему мужчина молчит и как научить его делиться своими переживаниями

Women constantly broadcast their thoughts and experiences to the outside world. They easily communicate with friends, relatives, loved ones, and even with strangers. It helps to cope with negative emotions, relax. Men — another thing. From childhood, they are taught to restrain their feelings, not to complain, and to be strong. Hence the problems in relationships: a woman doesn understand why a man is silent, feels anxious and makes mistakes. Let's figure out how to teach partners to share their experiences in order to establish full contact with them.

How women perceive men's taciturnity
Why a man is silent: putting silence into words
How to teach your partner to share his experiences
The main thing about the silence of men and their ways "talk"

How do women perceive the taciturnity of men

Let's start with the main — the reaction of a woman to the silence of a man. Usually it's panic. The fair sex perceives silence either as a manifestation of resentment or as an attempt to ignore. Actions are predictable. If a woman believes that her partner is offended, she tries to make amends — pleases, feeds sweets, portrays a good boy. And when she exhausts her entire arsenal and does not get the expected result (an honest heart-to-heart talk), she gets upset and angry.

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If a woman thinks that a man is ignoring her, it's even worse. At first, she tries to answer with the same coin, sincerely believing that her silence keeps her partner in tension. Gradually, she is covered with a wave of resentment, depressive thoughts appear. Usually a day or two of mutual silence is enough for a woman to come to a conclusion about misunderstanding, lack of love, and the futility of relationships. This can end in scandal, hysteria, and even slamming doors.

Note that all this time the man is assigned a passive role. He does not do anything at all, he does not even speak. The woman herself invented the problem. She got upset because of her, tried to decide, didn’t get the desired result, and fell into hysterics or depression. A man for whom taciturnity — the norm of life, may never understand what happened to the relationship, why the affectionate beauty gradually turned into a hysterical monster.

On the one hand, women need quality feedback from partners. C another, — men do not understand what is being expected of them and write off the woman's behavior as natural hysteria. If this problem is relevant for your couple, it's time to stop, think and change your attitude towards the situation.

Why a man is silent: we put silence into words

The most sensible thing a woman can do is not to bother with questions, attempts to sort things out. The main thing is to realize that silence does not mean a man's thoughts about a rival (and if it is, you can't can change anything). The main reasons why a man is silent are:

Awareness of the situation. Most often, men fall silent after quarrels with partners, troubles at work or problems with relatives. They think.
Calm down. Men don't vent their emotions. They come to feeling in silence.
Planning. Having realized the problem, the man concentrates on solving it, outlines a plan of action, considers possible obstacles on the way to goals.

It is important for the stronger sex to have time and the opportunity to be alone with themselves. Sometimes periods of isolation can last for weeks and even months. A man can silently lie on a sofa, chew, watch TV or leaf through a newspaper. He does not seem to be doing anything, but it is not so.

Hundreds of situations run through the mind of a silent man. He analyzes events, draws conclusions, and solves problems. All this intense life takes place in the mind halls, where other people are not allowed to enter.

How to teach your partner to share his feelings

You don do not need to interfere with a man if he is busy with his thoughts, but it is worth teaching him to share his experiences in order to establish contact. Act like this:

Call the condition with the right words. In order for a man to realize what feelings he is experiencing, you must voice them and make it clear that you are ready to share. Start a conversation with the words: "I see that you are upset (angry, offended)". This will encourage the partner to explain their condition.
Don do pressure if the man doesn want to share his emotions.Do do insist if the partner denies his feelings, doesn want to discuss. That's his right.
Let demonstrate by example how to express feelings. If you are upset or angry and want to talk about it with a partner, formulate it, for example: "I frustrated because of.. .»
Make sure to pay attention if your partner talks about his/nbsp;experiences. Don't shrug it off, even if you are busy. Listen, support, show your approval.

Don expect quick results, men are brought up to be taciturn. Over time, your partner will get used to discussing their thoughts and experiences with you, but it will take more than one day.

The main thing about silence of men and their way "talk"

Men realize their feelings in actions, and not in words, but still they need to learn how to speak out in order to maintain harmonious relationships in a couple. If you find it hard to bear your partner's taciturnity, do this:

Leave a man alone with his thoughts. Better take care of yourself, children, household chores. Don't touch your partner until the silence begins to seriously strain.
Wordize your feelings. If the silence drags on and you worry, name the feelings you think your partner is experiencing in the right words.
Lead by example. Voice your own emotions.
Be attentive. Listen without interrupting, showing interest with all your appearance.

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If you can't speak" partner, don't get upset. Look around, find a chatterbox man and spend at least half an hour in his company. This is enough to appreciate the golden silence of your loved one.

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