Passion or addiction: symptoms and treatment of love addiction

Love — the feeling we're looking for and from which we run. It can make our life a fairy tale or turn it in chaos.

But the real nightmare are those who suffer from love addiction. In terms of the  harm that this condition causes, it is comparable to drug addiction or alcoholism, and causes suffering not only the addict, but and the object of his "love".

• Love addiction: how to recognize the problem
• Renouncing one's own life
• Pathological jealousy
• Suppression of the individuality of the "beloved"
• Love Addiction: How to Deal With This Problem

Love addiction: how to recognize the problem

First of all, it is important to draw a clear line between unhappy love and love addiction — they are not  identical states. If in  the first case we are talking about an unrequited feeling that hurts, makes you cry, seek solace in communication with friends or favorite activities, but gradually life returns to the same course, then dependence — it's a disease. And like any other ailment it has characteristic symptoms.

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Rejection of one's own life

Whatever the dependent — it tries to live the life of the object of its worship. At the same time, their own interests, goals, opinions, needs are completely ignored. One word from a loved one is enough for an addict to push work, health and everything into the background.

This symptom is often realized in conversation with other people in the form of I — part of him/He — part of me", "Without him, I" do not exist / Without me, he does not exist, "When he is not" & mdash; I do live/He live without me». Such statements should alert close and friends, and make them take a closer look at what happens in the life of an addict.

Pathological jealousy

The fear of losing a loved one from the side looks grotesque. The addict can literally start persecution: he arranges surveillance of the object of passion, eavesdrops on his telephone conversations, tries to crack the password to messengers and social network pages. Addicts are driven by an extreme degree of jealousy, where any person who appears in their line of sight becomes a threat. And he also falls under the gun: the addict makes a monstrous effort to inquire about the person whom he suspects of connections with his loved one. Sometimes a "like" is enough under the photo of the object of worship, so that the trigger of jealousy is pressed and the addict begins the "hunt".<

Typically, there may not have any relationship between the dependent and subject of its dependency. Moreover, the person to whom passion is directed often does not even suspect about the feelings that overwhelm the addict or even do not know him at all.

Read also: How to love yourself: working on yourself

Suppression of the individuality of the "beloved"

If the  addict and their lover already have any kind of relationship, even at a cursory glance, they look unhealthy. The addict tries to be close to the object of his passion under any circumstances. Meeting with classmates, corporate party, visiting a doctor — at "beloved" no right to be alone with yourself. If there is no opportunity to attend the event in person, the addict regularly calls or finds out in messages what the beloved is doing when he returns home, why he is late.

The listed symptoms can have varying degrees of severity — from mild, when the addict manages to partially control himself, to severe, when self-control is completely absent: threats to commit suicide and the extreme degree of aggression towards the address of others, and then the life of "beloved" turns into real hell.

Read also: Is possible to change a man and is is it worth it?

Love Addiction: How To Deal With This Problem

Treatment of any addiction begins with  acknowledging that there is a problem. But even so, only a qualified psychologist can help. This is due to the fact that love addiction develops in people with critically low self-esteem, with severe cognitive distortions, or in who have formed a pathological model of personal relationships.

All of the above conditions can be successfully corrected in the course of individual and group psychotherapy sessions, during which a person's self-esteem is restored and stabilized and a healthy attitude towards himself and to the feelings that he experiences.

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But it is important to understand that love addiction, like any other pathological addiction, gains momentum over time and causes serious damage to the personality. And & nbsp; the person who today just "gets" beloved calls and threatens to commit suicide, in a few months he can carry out threats. So don't wasting time — if you or someone close to have developed a addictive relationship with his or her partner, consult a psychologist.

Read also: How your relationship with parents affects your personal life

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