Is it possible to change a man and is it worth doing it

Можно ли изменить мужчину и стоит ли этим заниматься

The biggest female illusion: a man will change. When nothing like this happens, a woman experiences disappointment, doubts about herself, her partner, and love as such. The bitterness of defeat caused the breakup of many couples. So is it possible to change a man if he has major flaws? Psychologists do not give an unambiguous answer, but advise not to especially count on this, because serious changes in the the result of a huge inner work of the person himself.

Can can change a man with the power of your love
How to "plus" men: 5 rules of smart women
The main thing about changing the character and habits of a man

Can can change a man with the power of your love

We are taught a romantic image of all-conquering love that can turn any monster into a handsome prince. Whether we like it or not, but this attitude is firmly embedded in the picture of the world. From a very young age, we are brought it with the help of fairy tales, cartoons, beautiful stories. The only thing not spoken about: this idealized image — not real. It created specifically for art — literature, painting, sculpture, music.

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Since infancy, absorbing the behavior patterns of fairy-tale characters, women try to repeat them in real life. They sacrifice their time, energy, interests in order to change their loved ones, endure and wait. Sooner or later they want to see the result of their efforts — positive changes in a man, but this does not always happen. Then disappointment comes, reproaches begin, the idyll collapses, and the relationship breaks up. Even if people stay together, they are no longer bound by warmth and closeness.

But parting — this is not yet the biggest trauma that life can prepare for a woman. It’s much worse if she spent years trying to change her man, and then he just went to another and realized everything what the former dreamed of. It often happens this way: a slob and a drunkard, with whom his wife suffered, in a new marriage suddenly becomes an exemplary family man and a convinced teetotaler. What does it depend on? Is a woman who wasted her strength senselessly simply incompetent? Didn't she love enough and try hard enough? No, it's not so simple.

Can can change a man if he not especially strives for this? Definitely not. But people can change themselves — under the influence of circumstances, with age or after serious psychological trauma. A woman can simply become a motivating factor, but expect to change an adult — hopeless venture. His character and habits have long been formed, so the most reasonable solution — look for partners for a long relationship who are initially suitable for their way of thinking, priorities, goals.

How to "plus" men: 5 rules of smart women

Don't try to change your partner, it's futile. But you can help your man be more successful than he is now. Most importantly, don't go in cycles in this, live your own life, and follow simple rules in relationships:

Pass the responsibility. Seriously, admit that the man is in charge. It is so simple and pleasant — transfer to someone the responsibility for life, money, children, future. Take care of yourself, your work, and let the man know that he is stronger. Trying to drag everything on yourself, you only emphasize the insignificance of your partner. By sharing responsibility, you raise its importance.
Give me freedom. Yes, you want to hold a man near you, control him and lecture. At first glance, it even suits him. But here's the trouble: there will be no achievements, as well as harmonious relations. Act wiser: inspire your partner as you believe in him, and give complete freedom of action.
Love a man just the way he is. Choose your long-term partners carefully. You can meet with a drunken jovial joker, but seriously get in touch — never. A man should suit you in general, and look at minor flaws through your fingers. Always tell your partner what you appreciate and love in so that he wants to develop these qualities even more.
Don't argument. Every time you want to challenge a man's decision, it's unnecessary. If we are not talking about cardinal changes in life (moving, investing in a new business, etc.), agree, especially with people. You can express your opinion, but try not to contradict. This will raise the importance of a man in his own eyes.
Praise. People are so arranged that they see the shortcomings of partners much better than the virtues. Change your habit. Learn to see even small pluses, and tell a man how wonderful he is, for any reason. This will orient him to success in life and strengthen the relationship.

If a man feels like a hero next to a woman, he is simply doomed to feats. The position is binding. It's so easy to inspire. Master this art, and a man himself will want to become better, stronger, more successful.

The main thing about changing the character and habits of a man

Never get involved with men with shortcomings that you are not ready to tolerate. Don't expect your love to change your partner. The probability of this is too low. You will only lose time, energy, be disappointed, acquire complexes and neuroses. And with the suitable partner, you can build a relationship so that he wants to become better. Do this:

Don't try to blame, nag and change. Accept your partner as he is.
Give freedom of action. Trying to control a man, you will only lose time and strength, and there will not better special result.
Share the responsibility. This will take the pressure off you and help the man feel important.
Praise and don't argue. Let your partner understand how much it means in your life.

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Your main task — make a man happier. Don't need extra effort and trying to change your partner, just take care of yourself, be beautiful and inspiring. The man will do the rest himself.

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