Все ли изменяют и как преодолеть страх предательства: 5 эффективных способов

The ubiquitous British scientists conducted a survey to find out how widespread the fear of betrayal is. It turned out that 47% of respondents were sure that their partners have connections on side. They couldn't prove it and guided by their own fears. The results of the same study showed that the real percentage of cheating reaches 63%. So, if you think about whether everyone changes, and fear of betrayal, you have statistical reasons for this. But is worth poisoning your life with constant fear? The editors of estet-portal.com suggest getting rid of it forever.

Why do you care if everyone changes: reasons for fears

Fear of betrayal — a nightmarish feeling that can poison life and destroy even the most prosperous relationships. It should be distinguished from jealousy and  fear of loneliness. If jealousy in small doses can motivate to  positive changes in oneself (taking care of appearance, studying housekeeping or sexual techniques), then the fear of betrayal only destroys, makes a person weak-willed and unhappy.

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If you fear betrayal, then the chances are high that      will happen to you. This can happen not because your partner is not initially trustworthy, but because of your words and actions. All your actions will be poisoned by suspicion. It is not excluded that you will begin to arrange exhausting interrogations and tantrums with your partner. Nobody can handle this. So it's better to deal with your phobias, so as not to torment yourself and your loved one.

Phobias can have several causes:

  • Low self-esteem. If you not confident in yourself, the most important questions for you are does ever cheat and how to find a partner who is not capable of betrayal. Surely you avoid flashy handsome men and need constant evidence of love. The only way to get rid of complexes — restore self-esteem.

  • Past experience — parents and personal. If your parents divorced or betrayed you before, the formation of a fear of betrayal is natural. Surely you're implicitly expecting history to repeat itself. It will only help to realize that this is not necessary, everything can be completely different.

  • Unforgiven betrayal. If the partner has already cheated, the fear is well founded. Decide for yourself whether you really forgive and are ready to live with the traitor further or it is easier to create a new couple without a painful past. If there are no objective reasons to suspect cheating now, save the relationship and work with fear.

  • Not completely adequate behavior of a partner. Does your loved one allow himself to flirt or periodically threaten to leave? Moreover, it's time to get rid of fears and decide how you plan to live on. It can't go on forever.

  • Hormones. Often the fear of betrayal is born because of a banal hormonal failure. This is what happens to new moms and women during menopause. The world seems threatening, and you are unsure of you and your attractiveness. Hence the phobias.

What whatever the reasons of your fears, must be overcome. Even jealous people are more likely to maintain relationships than those who are paralyzed and depressed by fear. Put yourself in the place of your partner, look at your behavior through his eyes. Would you be comfortable with a intimidated person who controls everything, asks weird questions, gets hysterical, and feels sorry for himself? You'd probably run from such a life. Approximately so your soulmate can argue in the same way.

Read also: How to determine that a man is a womanizer, even at the dating stage: 4 true signs

5 effective ways to get rid of the fear of betrayal

If the phobia is so strong that you are exhausted and are unable to control yourself, better go to a qualified psychologist. He will help to understand the reasons for such a state and individually select the appropriate psychotechnics. If you can consciously work on yourself, in good time. Heed  helpful tips and choose the best ways for you to deal with obsessive thoughts.

1. Self Realization — perfect option for boosting self-esteem

The best way to get rid of exhausting thoughts and doubts, increase self-esteem — set new goals. Direct your energy in a peaceful direction: engage in self-development, professional growth, career. Don't be afraid to let go of the reins of control over your partner. Don feel free that he may change while you at work. Just forbid yourself to think about it.

As you achieve your goals, you will respect yourself more. You realize that the partner — just a part of your life, not the whole world. Possible betrayal will no longer seem like the end of the world, and you gradually get rid of fears. Positive changes will strengthen relationships.

Read also: Is possible to change a man and is is it worth it?

2. Take care of the body to stop complexing because of appearance

Improve your body. Let go of the harmful "Love me for who I am" mindset. If you can overcome laziness and become more beautiful in your own eyes, you will no longer have to think about attractive potential rivals. The real results of working on yourself will save you from complexes, increase self-esteem.

3. Give yourself permission to enjoy sex

Stop using sex as a tool to manipulate your partner. The only person who suffers from   — you. Punishing your loved one with a lack of sex for offences, you deprive yourself of pleasure and create another cause for concern, because you understand that you are pushing your partner to change.

Make the most of your pleasure and give it to your loved one. There shouldn't be any prohibitions. An added benefit: You will feel wanted, happy, and will stop worrying about nothing.

4. Set a ban on unproductive thoughts and actions

If you constantly follow your partner, look for signs of cheating, discuss your fear with other people, it has become a habit for a long time. It is difficult to get rid of, but necessary. Forbid yourself to think about the possibility of betrayal, and and let do not discuss it with girlfriends.

Whenever you catch yourself in unproductive thoughts or actions, stop and switch your attention to something else.

5. Share your experiences with a partner and live in the present

If you're having destructive thoughts, tell your loved one about it. Admit that you are tormented by fear, but you understand how unfounded it is. A heart-to-heart talk will help you strengthen your relationship. The main thing is that you not turn it into a stream of reproaches and complaints.

Don't think about the past and the future of your relationship. You can not change anything predict .

Read also: Reliable man: 5 signs of a good man for a long relationship

The main thing about fear of betrayal and hows to deal with it 

Fear — a powerful force that can completely subjugate a person. Don let your phobias guide you. To get rid of the fear of betrayal, do this:

  • Become aware of yourself.Recognize that there is fear and    it must be dealt with. If it is difficult to do it yourself, seek help psychologist.

  • Forbid yourself to think and talk about betrayal.Such thoughts will not bring anything good and will not prevent betrayal if it occurs. It's pointless to be afraid and cheat.

  • Take care of your body and business. Improve your appearance, achieve new goals, build a career. This will increase your self-esteem and distract you from destructive thoughts.

  • Get closer to a partner. Your fears have negatively affected your relationship. Relax and trust your partner. Talk to him about your worries, ask for moral support. Have sex more often and enjoy.

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Does everyone change? No, but many. This, unfortunately, is a fact. Take it for granted that you have no idea what your relationship will be like tomorrow. Live and love today without winding frightening thoughts about the future. Time will tell.

Read also: Why a man is silent and how to teach him to share his experiences

You may be interested in: How to understand what the "chips" of your appearance are.

 

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