The concept of emotional intelligence is well known to every modern person today. This topic is carefully researched and actively discussed, at the moment it is well known that the level of emotional intelligence directly affects how successful and realized a person can be in life. However, not everyone has the art of managing their emotions, but this can and should be learned.
Why is emotional intelligence so important for a modern person, and how to learn to manage your emotions – Specially for estet-portal.com, a practical psychologist, coach, expert in business consulting, trainer Nesia Ferdman spoke.
- How would you define the concept of "emotional intelligence"
- What is the main idea of this division of emotional intelligence into components
- Why people are not always able to manage their emotions, what does it depend on
- How can a person learn to control his emotions
- What, in your opinion, is the key factor determining the level of emotional
intelligence of a person
There are indeed many definitions of emotional intelligence today. Talking about this topic is now very fashionable, and only the lazy do not do it. Personally, I believe that it is very important to understand who stood at the origins of this concept, and where it came from.
The term "emotional intelligence" Daniel Goleman, an American psychologist, brought to a wide audience, and it was he who conducted a lot of research in this area.
Therefore, I believe that when defining such a concept as emotional intelligence, it is necessary to refer to Goleman.
I love how he divided Emotional Intelligence at work into 5 components:
- the first – it is self-awareness, that is, the ability of a person to recognize their own emotions and moods, and understand how they affect other people;
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second – it is self-control, that is, the ability to control and redirect one's negative and destructive emotions, as well as the ability to remain calm and not act impulsively under the influence of these emotions; -
third – it is motivation when a person understands what is his passion in work, and what things help him achieve his goals, charge and feed him; -
The fourth component – it is empathy, that is, the ability to understand the emotional state of other people and the skill to interact with them when they are in different states. Very often, people understand empathy as the ability to simply empathize with other people, sharing their emotions, but that's about something else;
- fifth – these are social skills, that is, all the abilities that we use to communicate and interact with other people, both verbally and without words, through gestures, body language and our personal appearance. misunderstanding in communication or difficulties with it. For myself, I explain this component of emotional intelligence as a clear awareness of one's values and their implementation through certain skills in the social society in which a person is located. You can't just say that social skills – it is benevolence, honesty, and so on, because they are expressed differently in different people. Therefore, I say that if a person is aware of his values, and knows how to express them through certain behavior, on the basis of its principles social skills are formed.
- These five key components make up the emotional
intelligence of every person.
The main idea of Daniel Goleman is that, first of all, you need to learn to be aware and understand your emotions, reactions, motivation, and so on. If a person does not know and does not understand how it works for him – he can't control it, and he can't interact with other people.
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, and in communication, business and achieving goals, he is much more successful than
Why people are not always able to manage their emotions, what does it depend on In our society, it was not customary to recognize one's own emotions. In order to understand what is happening to you, you must say "I", and in our country this is considered wrong. People are wondering who controls who – Am I emotion or emotion me? Of course, emotions are controlled by a person, because they do not come from nowhere. People who say they can't control their emotions are in a state of passion, but this doesn't happen every day.
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is quite simple.
First of all, I need to realize that I want to manage my emotions, and I want to change my certain emotional reactions to what is happening around. First step – understand what emotions generally exist, their spectrum. If you ask a person to just sit down and write what emotions he knows – To name them for most will not be so easy. That is, first you need to understand what emotions are, and then during the day you need
to record what emotions I experience. I'm calm or upset right now, maybe I'm feeling some kind ofexcitement, and so on. Then you need to trace what actions cause me certain emotions.
At the moment when I can fix what I'm feeling right now, and I can name my emotion – I can manage it. If I can tell myself at some point that I am now aggressive – I can control my aggression
because, most of the time, we can't control what's going on around us unconsciously. As soon as I realize my aggression – I can manage it. In the same way, you can not only control your negative emotions, but also "anchor" positive. For example, when we look at the sunrise or sunset, and we feel good about it – you need to catch this emotion, and tell yourself how good I am now, how happy I am. If I understand in what situations I experience positive emotions – I can type in a whole list of different actions that will help me evoke those emotions. The Talmud says that the longest pleasure, that a person may experience –it is the pleasure that he has overcome something in himself. No one around may know about this, but if at some point you restrained yourself or, conversely, did something that is unusual for you – when a lot of time passes and you remember it, you experience the same pleasure as when you managed to do it. And we often deprive ourselves of such sensations, replacing them with short-term pleasures, although, in fact, this is one of the most powerful pleasures that a person experiences.on the contrary, they did something that is unusual for you – when a lot of time passes and you remember it, you experience the same pleasure as when you managed to do it. And we often deprive ourselves of such sensations, replacing them with short-term pleasures, although, in fact, this is one of the most powerful pleasures that a person experiences.
on the contrary, they did something that is unusual for you – when a lot of time passes and you remember it, you experience the same pleasure as when you managed to do it. And we often deprive ourselves of such sensations, replacing them with short-term pleasures, although, in fact, this is one of the most powerful pleasures that a person experiences. What, in your opinion, is the key factor that determines the level of emotional intelligence of a person
I think that emotionalintelligence is very much related to a person's awareness and self-management. It seems to me that the ability of a person to understand himself, his emotions and the ability to express them – it is the biggest indicator of emotional intelligence. Such people are very noticeable, they are well-coordinated when you look at such a person –
you understand that he is holistic, natural in his manifestations, he knows how to understand what brings him joy, and knows how to control his discontent.
He understands what is happening with people who are close to him, he knows how not to ignore their emotions, but to be effective in communicating with them, he motivates himself and other people, he knows how to charge others, and he is charged myself. These are people who stand out for their emotional intelligence, they understand what, when and why to say or not to say, how to say, and what to do or not to do. They are organic in this state of emotional "etiquette"; and broadcast it in communication, they feel and understand what can be said, and what – and know how their words can affect others. But such a high level of emotional intelligence is possible only when a person understands himself well. <
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