The negative impact of low self-esteem on all aspects of a person's life is hard to dispute. That is why it is so important to work on raising self-esteem to a level that will correspond to objective reality. Thus, you will be able to act in accordance with circumstances, opportunities and common sense. In fact, improving your self-esteem is not that difficult: you just need to try the 4 steps below, which will help improve your life effortlessly. 

Step 1: Identify difficult conditions or situations

Low self-esteem is often caused by certain situations. Think about exactly what conditions or life situations strike at your self-esteem.

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They usually include:

  • failures at work;

  • lack of satisfying relationships;

  • family crisis;

  • change in personal circumstances such as job loss, parental leave, etc.;

  • tense relationships with people in the close social environment (friends, co-workers, relatives).

Step 2: Become aware of your own thoughts and beliefs

When analyzing difficult life situations, listen to your own thoughts about them. What matters is what exactly this situation means to you, and what place you occupy in it. What do you feel about yourself? Your thoughts and feelings can be positive, negative, or neutral. And also rational, that is, based on reasons and facts, or irrational, based on false ideas. It is rational thoughts that will help raise low self-esteem.  


Introspection and "digging in yourself" is sometimes a great idea.

Step 3: Challenge negative and destructive thoughts

What are your first thoughts – not necessarily the only correct view of the situation. Therefore, check the accuracy of your judgments. Ask yourself: “Are my ideas consistent with facts and logic? Are there other explanations for this situation plausible? My default image

Keep in mind that sometimes it's hard to admit inaccuracies in your way of thinking. Most people think stereotypically. It is these stereotypes that allow you to act automatically, without wasting energy on analyzing repetitive situations. Therefore, we often use established ideas about life and about ourselves. They can be quite adequate and correspond to the facts. But often these ideas are based on hardened opinions and misperceptions.



To increase self-esteem, it is important to learn how to deal with destructive thoughts. 

Pay special attention to the following points that destroy your self-esteem:My default image

Mindset:

"All or nothing." You see things in black and white, only good and only bad. For example: “I failed this task. So I – complete loser! As a result, you get low self-esteem and failure becomes habitual for you. 


Mental filtering.

You see only the negative and focus on it, distorting your opinion about a person or situation. For example, "I made a mistake in the report, and now everyone will definitely understand that I'm not good enough for this job!"

  • Turning pluses into minuses.
    You reject your own achievements and all your positive experience, crossing them out. Example: "I only wrote this test well because it was very simple."
  • "Jump" into a negative belief.
    You come to a negative belief with few or no reasons for it. For example: “My friend did not reply to my message. Most likely I did something and he is mad at me for it.
  • Mistaking feelings for facts. You are confusing feelings or beliefs with facts. “I feel like a failure. I must be the loser!"

  • Self-deprecation. You underestimate, belittle yourself and use self-deprecating humor. This can happen as a result of an overreaction to a traumatic situation, such as a mistake. "I don't deserve anything better."

    Step 4. Adjust your own thoughts and perceptions
  • Now, replace the negative and destructive thoughts with correct and constructive ones. All this you need to do to increase self-esteem. 

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    • Use the following strategies to boost your self-esteem:

Encouraging statements.

Treat yourself to kindness and self-encouragement. You know, thoughts are material. Your pessimism may invite trouble. For example, if you are afraid that your presentation will not go completely smoothly, you really run the risk of running into difficulties. Try to comfort yourself with something like "even if I make a mistake somewhere, I can still do it."
Forgive yourself.
We all make mistakes. But the error – it is not a permanent characteristic of your personality, but only something that happens to everyone from time to time. Mentally "separate" yourself from error. Tell yourself, "Yes, I made a mistake, but that doesn't make me a bad person."

Avoid statements of obligation and duty.
    and "should" means that you have inflated demands on yourself or others. Remove these words from your thoughts and your expectations will become more realistic.


  • Concentrate on the positive.
    • Think about the good things in your life. Remind yourself of what you've been up to lately. Take into account your skills that allow you to cope with life's difficulties.


  • Relabel negative thoughts.
    • No need to react negatively to negative thoughts. On the contrary, take them as signals for self-improvement.


  • Inspire yourself.
    • Give yourself credit for creating positive change. For example, “My presentation may not have been perfect, but my colleagues asked questions and stayed engaged. So I managed to achieve my goal.


  • These steps may seem a little awkward at first, but with practice they will become easier for you. Once you begin to recognize the impact your negative thoughts and beliefs have on your self-esteem, you will begin to not only take them into account, but actively resist them. And it will help you to accept yourself and your own importance as a person. As your self-esteem increases, your self-confidence and subjective sense of well-being will increase.

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