Male adultery in marriage: how to act for a deceived wife

There are tons of statistics on cheating, and the numbers vary widely. If we summarize the results, we get a disappointing picture. Cheating in  marriage for men is almost the norm: from 50 to 70% of spouses at least once in their life had a relationship on side. Perhaps in reality everything is different, because such information is collected by a survey method, it cannot be verified. But this doesn cancel the problem itself, nor the pain confusion that wives experience when they learn about infidelity. The editors of estet-portal.com have collected advice from psychologists that will help to cope with the trouble.

• Why male infidelity in marriage — frequent
• What should a wife do — 5 psychological tips
• The main thing about wife's behavior in the case of her husband's infidelity

Why male infidelity in marriage — frequent

Life together under one roof — hard test for loving people. The hustle and bustle of everyday life, routine sex, or lack of it, makes spouses feel like life has stopped. Both need a shake. Women solve the problem with the help of shopping, relaxation, communication with girlfriends, caring for children, and men begin to look for new love. The only way to  not bring it to — variety in marriage, but it is not a panacea.

Over the years of marriage, people have time to offend feelings more than once, deceive each other's expectations. Spouses learn to forgive, but still resentment accumulates. There are many things they don't talk about: mutual inattention, sexual hunger, secret fantasies, disappointment. Often, both have a desire to avenge all real and imaginary grievances, and a new object of attraction allows you to recoup.

If for women cheating in  marriage — an extraordinary phenomenon, because their  mothers taught to hyper-responsibility for family, then men relate to infidelity easier. It is enough to drink too much or face the trials of another family crisis in order to look after yourself a new passion. Wives have to solve a difficult question: what to do if the husband cheated.

Read also: False signs of male infidelity: 5 myths that women believe

What should a wife do — 5 psychological tips

When they say that both of their spouses are guilty of cheating, it's a shame to hear, but you have to admit the truth. There is no question of the fault of the wife, and still there is a certain share of responsibility for the relationship of the husband on the side. The main problem of spouses: they begin to perceive each other as property and treat each other in the same way. Respect, trust, passion leave relationships.

The main advice of psychologists to wives: remember that the husband — this is a holistic, multifaceted personality with the right to one's own opinion, and not at all part of the interior and not even your ideas about spouse. Your husband can and wants to play other roles. If he doesn will have such an opportunity in the family, he realizes on the side. The spouse has the right to error.

It many depends on you what he finally considers an unfortunate misunderstanding: years of marriage or a mistress. If you are convinced that the husband has a relationship on side, act wisely.

1. No martyrdom and silent hellish suffering

Seriously, don don't even think of turning a blind eye to the connection, otherwise you will erase your own self-esteem into powder and only increase the chances of losing your husband. An ultimatum is just as dangerous: it is likely that the spouse will immediately pack up. First, calm down and think about the situation. In  in most cases, love on side ends in within six months. You can save or destroy a family.

Stop being afraid of losing a man, get nervous and suffer. If you find that the relationship has dragged on, accept the fact, drink a sedative, decide for yourself what you really want, and discuss the problem with your spouse. Leave emotions aside, talk, without slipping into & nbsp; mutual reproaches. The husband should be left with the impression that the family loves him, but will not endure humiliation.

Read also: What what causes the desire to control everything — to success or neurosis

2. Throw away thoughts of revenge: they destroy

Restrain your impulses if you want to immediately sleep with someone to get revenge on your husband, or pull out your mistress's hair. All this storm will lead to nothing. If you cheat, your husband will leave with a clear conscience and a sense of offended dignity. If you quarrel with your spouse's passion, he will consider you an epileptic hysteric, and her holy great martyr. You definitely don need it.

3. Keep your dignity: don sink complaints and showdowns

You're in terrible pain, but the last people to tell about it — girlfriends. The news will spread at the speed of light. People around you will feel sorry for you, and  some people will gloat. Tell your mom — scandals and  showdowns between relatives are inevitable.

If it's unbearably painful and can't come to feeling, go to psychologist. This is the only person who will help solve, and not exacerbate the problem.

4. Take care of health: it is now under threat

Cheating in marriage — ordeal. Nervous tension can undermine a woman's health, provoke an exacerbation of chronic diseases. Focus on your own health, and not your husband. Personal life can develop in different ways, and you have youself alone. Go in for sports, yoga, sign up for a massage, eat more healthy food. This will improve your well-being, mood and appearance.

5. When leaving, leave forever, and forgive, forgive 100%

You are about to make one of the most difficult decisions in life. Don't rush. Postpone this moment until the emotions have completely subsided, — for several weeks, and then and months. If you decide to part with the person who betrayed your love, think over your future to the smallest detail. Decide to forgive — you will have to hold back a grudge for years and remain silent. It will be impossible to remember the betrayal even in a joke or in the heat of a quarrel.

Read also: When it is worth limiting communication with relatives and why it is important

The main thing about wife's behavior in the case of her husband's infidelity

Adultery is not uncommon. Any woman can be deceived, and each has to make her own decisions. Try to keep your sanity and act, focusing on the advice of psychologists:

• Do not be silent.Jealousy and pain corrode from the inside, undermine self-esteem, physical and mental health. Talk to your husband, and better to psychologist first.

• Give up thoughts of revenge.No good will come of this.

• Keep your dignity. Don't complain with your friends and don't scandalize. It's destructive to you in the first place.

• Take care of your health. Nervous tension never goes away in vain, so don let yourself get sick.

• Don't rush to dot. Let as much time as possible pass. Yes, the state of suspension is hard to endure, but and ill-considered decisions will not give anything.

• Once you've made a decision, stick with it. It will be difficult, but it will teach you resilience, patience, and coping skills. In you win in the end.

And and finally. If a husband wants to stay in the family and sincerely asks for forgiveness, remember that now he 120% believes himself. You will also have to believe. But there are no guarantees of fidelity for the future. They don't exist at all. The smartest solution — allow the spouse to earn forgiveness. If he offers "all over again", agree and offer to start with timid dates, courtship, and bouquets. Maybe it really will work. Then your marriage will become more mature, deep and honest.

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